Here’s a detailed guide on how to educate your future children about sex as your Nigerian parents did. From ignoring the existence of sex altogether to making them too scared to bring it up, this should ensure your child learns everything they need to know from porn.
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1 NEVER directly talk about sex with your children.
If they’ve never heard about sex, it’s only logical that they will never have it? Abi? Simpu!
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2 If that doesn’t work and they start asking too many questions, just give them this look:
This ‘Nigerian mother face’ will stop them dead in their tracks.
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3 Repeatedly warn them about the dangers of any kind of interaction with the opposite sex.
They shouldn’t even breathe near them.
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4 Just assume every member of the opposite sex they talk to is their boyfriend or girlfriend.
We all know men and women can never JUST be friends.
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5 Make sure your son knows that if he gets a girl pregnant, his only option is to marry her.
Remind him every other day.
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NEVER directly talk about sex with your children.
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If that doesn’t work and they start asking too many questions, just give them this look:
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Repeatedly warn them about the dangers of any kind of interaction with the opposite sex.
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Just assume every member of the opposite sex they talk to is their boyfriend or girlfriend.
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Make sure your son knows that if he gets a girl pregnant, his only option is to marry her.
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