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The Non-Muslim Guide To Getting Free Sallah Meat

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We wrote this for non-muslims who want to enjoy their Sallah holidays by eating meat till their teeth begin to ache.

Enjoy.

  1. 1 Make a list of all your muslim friends


    Just make a list first. The more, the merrier.



  2. 2 Wish them Happy Sallah and remind them you love them


    Telling them you love them is unrelated to you begging them for meat, of course. Friends tell each other “I love you” all the time.



  3. 3 Tell them that you’re coming to their house


    Don’t ask. This is where people make mistakes. If you ask, you’re giving them the opportunity to say no. Just say, “How far, I dey show for your side tomorrow.” Only a wicked friend will say no to you.



  4. 4 Leave home early


    If you get there late, ojukokoros like you would have finished all the meat. Don’t dull.

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  1. Which among the list can you relate to?

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    1. Make a list of all your muslim friends
    2. Wish them Happy Sallah and remind them you love them
    3. Tell them that you’re coming to their house
    4. Leave home early
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