6 Things That Can Never Satisfy Nigerian Mothers

Wait until you have a headache and she tells you, “Why won’t you have a headache? Is phone not too much?” Read that in Yoruba if you may. And yes, they may not admit it, but Nigerian mothers press their phone too much too.

Have you ever gone shopping with your mother and she picks out a cloth for you, only to have you say no? That talk will never end. She will say you don’t know ‘fashion’, as though the MaryAmaka dress she picked out for you was something from last year’s Lagos Fashion Week.

I’m doubtful of this one, sha. It’s not every Nigerian mother that wants to be Mama Doctor. But then, try telling a Nigerian mother you want to study Theatre Arts and hear what she’ll say.

This one is a given. You’re never praying enough in the sight of a Nigerian mother. Until she asks you a question and you respond in tongues, you are not spiritual and fire-ful enough.

If every Nigerian were to make a soundtrack from every word spoken to them while growing up, “Is that how to sweep?” and “Bend down properly!” will be the chorus.

Have you ever bought something your mother sent you only to be told that you didn’t get it correctly? Next thing you’ll hear is: “I should have gone to buy it myself.” This is one of the reasons I’ll never shop for clothes on my mother’s behalf. The one time I did it, I never heard the end of it. And she liked what I bought o, but for her to open her mouth and say it? God forbid.

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